First let me make an excuse for why I slacked on the blog. After my last post I had to finish school, find a new place to live in Arizona (without getting to check them out first) not district Logan from studying for the two most important tests of his career, figure out what to do with our town home, sell our car, pack our house and oh yeah be pregnant! Those were some stressful months but it all worked out! We've been in Arizona for about 5 months and have decided to make it our home. More on that later but first Janie's story!
June 25th might just be my favorite day in my life thus far. The day I became a mother. What?! Sometimes I think it might not set in fully until she can talk and calls me mama.
I had a doctors appointment on June 23rd 38 weeks and was really hoping for progress because my doctor was going out of town the next week (when Id would've been 39 weeks) and I didn't want to have my baby with some random stranger. I also was really hot and done being pregnant! So she checked me at that appointment and I was only dilated to a 1 (I think she was just being generous) and still only 30% effaced (both were the same as the week before). I came home mad and convinced that I would never be done being pregnant! Ha!
That night I was having a pretty hilarious dream. I was with Sean and Catherine (from the TV show the Bachelor)and we were in an apartment complex parking lot hanging out and talking. A huge storm started and I saw a tornado forming and asked them if we had better get inside. They said we didn't have time for that and to get underneath the nearby cars for protection. I thought this was the dumbest idea but tried it anyway and obviously being 9 months pregnant I couldn't fit! So I started "getting rained on" and then in a half asleep half awake state realized I really was getting wet... and that just confused me haha! So I woke up and went to the bathroom and realized I was a lot more wet than I had thought I was and yelled to Logan, "I think maybe my water broke?" Well, our bed is against the wall and I was sleeping on the outside, so when he got up to come check on me he realized that it had indeed broken ;) That was at 4:30am on the 24th so we excitedly got ready to go. Logan will always make fun of me because I curled my hair for like .2 seconds. I wasn't having any contractions that I could feel so I wasn't in too big of a hurry.
We got to the hospital at 5am and they checked to see if my water had broken and the nurse said something like Oh yeah! haha! We called my mom and texted the rest of the family after that. I was having slight contractions but still couldn't really feel anything yet. I was still dilated to only a 1 but 50% effaced and the nurses there said I was a great candidate for pitocin because my cervix was really soft. My doctor came in and they started me on pitocin and then got us moved up to our room. It was a nice big room with plenty of room for Logan's pull out bed chair thingy. Good thing since we were gonna be there a long time!
By 9 am they turned up the pitocin and the nurse was encouraging saying my body was doing what it should be and the contractions were looking good. The contractions still weren't painful. This nurse was probably my favorite because her name was Erin. If only I had another nurse named Tara it would have been perfect! 10 am they checked me again- still only a 1. I can't remember exactly who told me this but normally your body should dilate 1 cm every 2 hours or so (don't quote me on that though!) so I was a little discouraged. I tried getting on the birthing ball to see if that would help move things along.
At 12:30 I was dilated to a 3.5 and 90% efffaced and her head was low enough they could feel her hair. That surprised me I was sure she would be bald! I can't remember exactly but my Mom got there around 2 I think? Everyone kept telling me to rest but I couldn't I was too excited! Poor Logan was just so exhausted though! At 4:30 they started me on antibiotics since it had been 12 hours since my water had broken. I was dilated to a "good 4" and my contractions were definitely hurting. My pain level during the contractions was probably about a 7 or 8. I wasn't sure how bad it would get so I didn't know when I should ask for an epidural but then two thoughts crossed my mind. First that the nurses switch shifts at 6 and I really liked Erin so wanted her to be the one to be there when I got the epidural, and second that maybe an epidural would help relax my body enough that I would dilate quicker. I got the epidural about at about 5pm. It wasn't nearly as scary as I had thought it would be. At about 5:20 I started feeling tingly and the monitor was showing contractions that I was no longer feeling. Other than things going slowly everything was great and I was feeling really calm but had a random thought to ask Erin at what heart rate do they start worrying about the baby? She told me when it gets to the low 100's they start worrying and what they do when that happens.
At 6pm my doctor came back in and checked me. I hadn't dilated at all and was still only at a 4. She decided to up my pitocin and they put in an internal monitor to track the contractions better. There was basically no reason for my cervix to be so slow because my contractions were good strength and duration. I had my new nurse and she was also really sweet and LDS just like Erin was so that was comforting to me.
At 8:30 that nurse (I really wish I remembered her name) checked me and said I was at a 6. Woo progress! She convinced me to get some rest so I did. Dr. Schallock came back at about 11pm (I think, the timing gets a little foggy here)and checked me again and had some discouraging news. According to her I was actually only dilated to a 5. She said maybe my nurse has smaller hands than her or was just being generous because I was, in her opinion, only to a 5. So then she said I "had some options". Not what I wanted to hear! I tried to hold it together when she was talking to me but the second she "stepped out of the room so we could discuss some things" I lost it to Logan and some random nurse. My nurse had been helping someone else when Dr. Schallock was checking me but came in shortly after. I was pretty upset that my body didn't seem to be doing what it should be and felt like I was being rushed into a C-section when I didn't need to be. I was feeling fine, Janie was doing fine, it was just taking a while but I didn't see the reason to discuss "options." Luckily everyone agreed with me and after my Dr. left the nurse was really sweet and apologized I got upset and just reaffirmed what I was feeling. She gave me some essential oil that is supposed to calm you down, helped me get into a comfortable position and then I tried to get some rest.
Sometime after midnight I woke up from being uncomfortable and was watching the monitors. Janie's heart rate was in the low 100's. I watched it for like 30 seconds and all of a sudden there were 4 nurses in my room. They changed my position, put an internal monitor on Janie's head, stopped the pitocin and called my doctor. Luckily I had felt impressed to ask Erin that question because I knew exactly what they were doing and why. When my doctor came back and brought up C-section again I knew it was time. The spirit really helped calm me down and have a feeling of peace to know this was what was best for Janie. I wasn't scared at all like I had been just a few hours before. I just wanted Janie safe!! I think it was my first moment of mama-bear-ness because I was so confident in knowing the c-section was the right decision and everything would be great. Logan and I just looked at each other and shook our heads in agreement. I don't think I'll ever forget the look he gave me.
They gave me a shot to boost her heart rate up and it sure did the trick! It made me super shaky and that was pretty miserable. It was annoying because no matter how hard I tried I couldn't control it or calm myself down. From the time we decided to do the c-section and the time Janie was born was about a half an hour.
They wheeled me into the operating room and then Logan came in. He looked super cute in his blue gown- even better than McDreamy in my opinion ;) The anesthesiologist told me that as soon as Janie was out he would stop the shaking. He made sure I couldn't feel anything and they started! I'm still not sure if it was just the medication he had given me or if he really was as handsome as I thought but he had the prettiest blue eyes I had ever seen. I told him so and he just said I'd had lots of medication haha. He might be my favorite person of the whole experience because that shaking was so annoying and he really did stop it the second Janie was out! He also took a million picture of her so that Logan could hold her immediately and I am so grateful for that!
It was the strangest thing hearing the doctors talking about their lives while I was undergoing this crazy surgery! I could feel tugging/pulling but no pain at all. Logan was right by my side and neither of us dared to look over that daunting blue curtain. At 2:17am we heard the most beautiful sound on the planet- our baby's cry! I started crying instantly and then they said "Mom hey Mom look over here!" and there she was! This beautiful bright pink baby girl! Ah it was heaven!
I'm so glad my mom got her flight changed and to the hospital so fast. It was such a relief to have her there. She was supposed to be watching the Harrison girls while Tara was at girls camp and Spencer worked so I felt bad for ruining those plans, but my Dad had a great time watching the girls and I know the girls did too.
Janie's birth didn't go exactly according to my plan, but it still was a spiritual and wonderful experience. All day while my Mom, Logan and I were waiting we were just so happy. I feel proud that I did my best to get her here, and grateful for modern medicine that helped when she and I needed. I felt the Spirit all day long encouraging me and helping me to recognize the blessing of what I was doing- bringing one of our Heavenly Father's spirits into this world. It's the craziest thing to think back on that day and how excited we were to meet her because now life without her doesn't seem real.
