June 25, 2014

First let me make an excuse for why I slacked on the blog. After my last post I had to finish school, find a new place to live in Arizona (without getting to check them out first) not district Logan from studying for the two most important tests of his career, figure out what to do with our town home, sell our car, pack our house and oh yeah be pregnant! Those were some stressful months but it all worked out! We've been in Arizona for about 5 months and have decided to make it our home. More on that later but first Janie's story!

June 25th might just be my favorite day in my life thus far. The day I became a mother. What?! Sometimes I think it might not set in fully until she can talk and calls me mama.

I had a doctors appointment on June 23rd 38 weeks and was really hoping for progress because my doctor was going out of town the next week (when Id would've been 39 weeks) and I didn't want to have my baby with some random stranger. I also was really hot and done being pregnant! So she checked me at that appointment and I was only dilated to a 1 (I think she was just being generous) and still only 30% effaced (both were the same as the week before). I came home mad and convinced that I would never be done being pregnant! Ha!

That night I was having a pretty hilarious dream. I was with Sean and Catherine (from the TV show the Bachelor)and we were in an apartment complex parking lot hanging out and talking. A huge storm started and I saw a tornado forming and asked them if we had better get inside. They said we didn't have time for that and to get underneath the nearby cars for protection. I thought this was the dumbest idea but tried it anyway and obviously being 9 months pregnant I couldn't fit! So I started "getting rained on" and then in a half asleep half awake state realized I really was getting wet... and that just confused me haha! So I woke up and went to the bathroom and realized I was a lot more wet than I had thought I was and yelled to Logan, "I think maybe my water broke?" Well, our bed is against the wall and I was sleeping on the outside, so when he got up to come check on me he realized that it had indeed broken ;) That was at 4:30am on the 24th so we excitedly got ready to go. Logan will always make fun of me because I curled my hair for like .2 seconds. I wasn't having any contractions that I could feel so I wasn't in too big of a hurry.

We got to the hospital at 5am and they checked to see if my water had broken and the nurse said something like Oh yeah! haha! We called my mom and texted the rest of the family after that. I was having slight contractions but still couldn't really feel anything yet. I was still dilated to only a 1 but 50% effaced and the nurses there said I was a great candidate for pitocin because my cervix was really soft. My doctor came in and they started me on pitocin and then got us moved up to our room. It was a nice big room with plenty of room for Logan's pull out bed chair thingy. Good thing since we were gonna be there a long time!

By 9 am they turned up the pitocin and the nurse was encouraging saying my body was doing what it should be and the contractions were looking good. The contractions still weren't painful. This nurse was probably my favorite because her name was Erin. If only I had another nurse named Tara it would have been perfect! 10 am they checked me again- still only a 1. I can't remember exactly who told me this but normally your body should dilate 1 cm every 2 hours or so (don't quote me on that though!) so I was a little discouraged. I tried getting on the birthing ball to see if that would help move things along.

At 12:30 I was dilated to a 3.5 and 90% efffaced and her head was low enough they could feel her hair. That surprised me I was sure she would be bald! I can't remember exactly but my Mom got there around 2 I think? Everyone kept telling me to rest but I couldn't I was too excited! Poor Logan was just so exhausted though! At 4:30 they started me on antibiotics since it had been 12 hours since my water had broken. I was dilated to a "good 4" and my contractions were definitely hurting. My pain level during the contractions was probably about a 7 or 8. I wasn't sure how bad it would get so I didn't know when I should ask for an epidural but then two thoughts crossed my mind. First that the nurses switch shifts at 6 and I really liked Erin so wanted her to be the one to be there when I got the epidural, and second that maybe an epidural would help relax my body enough that I would dilate quicker. I got the epidural about at about 5pm. It wasn't nearly as scary as I had thought it would be. At about 5:20 I started feeling tingly and the monitor was showing contractions that I was no longer feeling. Other than things going slowly everything was great and I was feeling really calm but had a random thought to ask Erin at what heart rate do they start worrying about the baby? She told me when it gets to the low 100's they start worrying and what they do when that happens.

At 6pm my doctor came back in and checked me. I hadn't dilated at all and was still only at a 4. She decided to up my pitocin and they put in an internal monitor to track the contractions better. There was basically no reason for my cervix to be so slow because my contractions were good strength and duration. I had my new nurse and she was also really sweet and LDS just like Erin was so that was comforting to me.

At 8:30 that nurse (I really wish I remembered her name) checked me and said I was at a 6. Woo progress! She convinced me to get some rest so I did. Dr. Schallock came back at about 11pm (I think, the timing gets a little foggy here)and checked me again and had some discouraging news. According to her I was actually only dilated to a 5. She said maybe my nurse has smaller hands than her or was just being generous because I was, in her opinion, only to a 5. So then she said I "had some options". Not what I wanted to hear! I tried to hold it together when she was talking to me but the second she "stepped out of the room so we could discuss some things" I lost it to Logan and some random nurse. My nurse had been helping someone else when Dr. Schallock was checking me but came in shortly after. I was pretty upset that my body didn't seem to be doing what it should be and felt like I was being rushed into a C-section when I didn't need to be. I was feeling fine, Janie was doing fine, it was just taking a while but I didn't see the reason to discuss "options." Luckily everyone agreed with me and after my Dr. left the nurse was really sweet and apologized I got upset and just reaffirmed what I was feeling. She gave me some essential oil that is supposed to calm you down, helped me get into a comfortable position and then I tried to get some rest.

Sometime after midnight I woke up from being uncomfortable and was watching the monitors. Janie's heart rate was in the low 100's. I watched it for like 30 seconds and all of a sudden there were 4 nurses in my room. They changed my position, put an internal monitor on Janie's head, stopped the pitocin and called my doctor. Luckily I had felt impressed to ask Erin that question because I knew exactly what they were doing and why. When my doctor came back and brought up C-section again I knew it was time. The spirit really helped calm me down and have a feeling of peace to know this was what was best for Janie. I wasn't scared at all like I had been just a few hours before. I just wanted Janie safe!! I think it was my first moment of mama-bear-ness because I was so confident in knowing the c-section was the right decision and everything would be great. Logan and I just looked at each other and shook our heads in agreement. I don't think I'll ever forget the look he gave me.

They gave me a shot to boost her heart rate up and it sure did the trick! It made me super shaky and that was pretty miserable. It was annoying because no matter how hard I tried I couldn't control it or calm myself down. From the time we decided to do the c-section and the time Janie was born was about a half an hour.

They wheeled me into the operating room and then Logan came in. He looked super cute in his blue gown- even better than McDreamy in my opinion ;) The anesthesiologist told me that as soon as Janie was out he would stop the shaking. He made sure I couldn't feel anything and they started! I'm still not sure if it was just the medication he had given me or if he really was as handsome as I thought but he had the prettiest blue eyes I had ever seen. I told him so and he just said I'd had lots of medication haha. He might be my favorite person of the whole experience because that shaking was so annoying and he really did stop it the second Janie was out! He also took a million picture of her so that Logan could hold her immediately and I am so grateful for that!

It was the strangest thing hearing the doctors talking about their lives while I was undergoing this crazy surgery! I could feel tugging/pulling but no pain at all. Logan was right by my side and neither of us dared to look over that daunting blue curtain. At 2:17am we heard the most beautiful sound on the planet- our baby's cry! I started crying instantly and then they said "Mom hey Mom look over here!" and there she was! This beautiful bright pink baby girl! Ah it was heaven!

I'm so glad my mom got her flight changed and to the hospital so fast. It was such a relief to have her there. She was supposed to be watching the Harrison girls while Tara was at girls camp and Spencer worked so I felt bad for ruining those plans, but my Dad had a great time watching the girls and I know the girls did too.

Janie's birth didn't go exactly according to my plan, but it still was a spiritual and wonderful experience. All day while my Mom, Logan and I were waiting we were just so happy. I feel proud that I did my best to get her here, and grateful for modern medicine that helped when she and I needed. I felt the Spirit all day long encouraging me and helping me to recognize the blessing of what I was doing- bringing one of our Heavenly Father's spirits into this world. It's the craziest thing to think back on that day and how excited we were to meet her because now life without her doesn't seem real.

Some Thoughts

This past week some things have happened that I have really been impacted by and wanted to write about. We had a really sad tragedy occur in our ward last week. The sister that I visit teach lost her 4 month old baby. It isn't my story to tell so that's all I'll say about it, except for the feelings I've had. I've basically never felt so helpless and sad for someone. I wish we were all knowing like our Heavenly Father is and that we could know why we have the challenges that we do.

There is one thing that I do know though, and that is that we have been given promises that can break the bands of death because of the sacrifice that our Savior made for us. A couple talks really gave me comfort and perspective as I've thought so much about their family.

The first one is Elder Wirthlin's "Come What May and Love It" I remember hearing this talk the first time and thinking how great it was, but I didn't remember this really important part that Logan pointed out to me on Sunday.

"The Principle of Compensation The third thing we can do is understand the principle of compensation. The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.

One of the blessings of the gospel is the knowledge that when the curtain of death signals the end of our mortal lives, life will continue on the other side of the veil. There we will be given new opportunities. Not even death can take from us the eternal blessings promised by a loving Heavenly Father.

Because Heavenly Father is merciful, a principle of compensation prevails." Here's the link for that talk. https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/come-what-may-and-love-it?lang=eng

What a comfort and a blessing to know that we have that promise from Heavenly Father. This whole experience has made me really think about our daughter and what life experiences we will go through with her and what challenges she will be given. There are no promises of an easy life, but there are promises of a happy one if we live the gospel to the best of our abilities.

The other talk was what I posted on Facebook the other day after the funeral. Elder Hollands "An High Priest of Good Things to Come" It has been one of my favorite talks for a long time and especially the quote that it is most known for... "Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come." The entire talk is beautiful and filled with hope and true principles of the blessings that come when we take full advantage of the Atonement. And the quote for that talk https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1999/10/an-high-priest-of-good-things-to-come?lang=eng

That quote of blessings to come helped me through our struggle of getting pregnant. I've read a lot of posts lately about what not to say to people struggling with infertility. I wrote last time about how I was nervous to really talk a lot about being pregnant at first, and I think that was because I was afraid of making things harder for those trying or unable to get pregnant. I've watched so many people around me get pregnant, have their babies and now raise their babies, all while longing that I could be like them. I know how hard that can be. I never felt resentment towards them though, and had so much joy in being around my friend's kids and our nieces. I thought I had faith during that struggle, but know I could have been better. There were times that people said mean and hurtful things to us, assuming that we weren't having kids because it was our choice (like that's any of their business if that was the reason.) If Logan hadn't stopped me I would have punched a few of them in the face. I'm not talking about things like "are you guys planning on having kids anytime soon?" but things like "You better hurry up to catch up to the rest of us" (from a person we knew for five minutes) or even when we finally were pregnant "It's about time you had a baby." To that one I almost replied, "Funny that's just what I told my uterus." Anyway, my point of all of this is that, sometimes answers to prayers don't come when we want them. Actually that's not right. Sometimes answers to prayers don't come HOW we want them. I think back on those nearly two years of waiting and think how the timing just wasn't right for us yet. I don't want to sound like that's what I think everyone's reason for infertility is, but since we had no medical reason of not being able to get pregnant, I feel like it could have been ours. Through that time I often would hear Elder Holland's voice in my head and think, those blessings will come, I don't know when, but I know they will.

I hope I never say the wrong thing to someone who is going through any kind of struggle. I hope that friends going through the struggle of infertility know that I will listen anytime and try to comfort in anyway possible (and when people say rude things, if Logan isn't around I might even punch them for you;) I know that there is one supreme being who understands our feelings exactly, and hope that we can all find peace when we turn to Him.

It's a Girl!!

Wednesday February 19th was our 3rd anniversary! When we scheduled our ultrasound we thought it would be so much fun to do it on our anniversary. The only problem was that they said we could do it as early as 18 weeks, and on our anniversary I’d be 20 weeks and 2 days. We almost called so many times to change our appointment to earlier but I’m so glad we didn’t! It was the perfect way to spend our anniversary.

My appointment was at 9am. I always have to try to calm myself down when they take my blood pressure. I think my first few appointments I was just so anxious to find out how baby was doing that it would spike it up. They would take it again after my appointment and it would be perfectly normal. Ever since then I try to really calm down and take a lot of deep breaths and that has helped. I wasn’t sure that it would work this time though because I was just too excited!!

I’d heard that drinking orange juice helped to make sure baby was wiggly and cooperated so I had a cup while we were heading over to the appointment. When we started the ultrasound she was definitely sleeping and not too keen on being poked to move around! She was laying on her side facing us so we couldn’t tell the sex right away. The tech decided she would just check her major organs out until she decided to let us know she is in fact a she! Logan and I were talking about something she did and all of a sudden the tech said you're having a girl! It felt almost nonchalant at first but then I looked at Logan's face and it all became so real and exciting! She is perfectly healthy and in the 58% (for weight I believe) weighing 14 oz! She told us how long she is and her head size but I can't remember. The most important thing was everything has developed well so far and we are so grateful for that!

We got to see her do all sorts of wiggles and twists. She yawned and stretched and sucked on her fingers and basically made us fall completely in love with her. She also gave us a wave with just one finger (if you know what I mean) but we won't hold that against her. ;)

When we were finished with the ultrasound the tech asked if we needed anything else or had any questions. I told her I had one but it was sort of strange... You see my ring started off too tight before I even got pregnant. I pretty much only got if off in the freezing winter time. We tried a few times to get it off before but my fingers got even more swollen and nothing worked- soap, lotion, butter and we even tried the floss trick. I had seen this video and thought we should try it but needed the right kind of cord- a cord from the oxygen mask. The ER Doctor in the video said he’s never had to cut off a ring and so the ultrasound tech was totally awesome and got it off. My knuckle was red and sore for a while but it beats having to cut my ring off and then paying to get it fixed/resized. Although we will be getting it resized after baby girl comes! So for now I have this ring that I actually really like from Walmart on my ring finger. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxoAbK5Pc6w

After the appointment we got in the car and said a tearful and happy prayer. I've never been more grateful to be sealed to Logan. Now that we know its a girl it all seems so much more real. We wonder what she'll be like. What will she look like? What will her personality be like? I pictured her in my Cross Country uniform pretty much right after I heard it was a girl! Please be a runner girly, please! I had to go to school right after and Logan went to the party store in Idaho Falls to build the balloon thing we did at the party. While I was at school I bought a shirt and while Logan was in Idaho Falls he bought two outfits :) What a cutie! I was so nervous that he would be sort of disappointed it was a girl because he wanted to have the first boy, but he is head over heals for her. It is so much fun!

That night we had our party to reveal what we were having to our family and friends. We had so much fun and are so grateful for everyone that came and that we could Facetime with our family that wasn't there. I had on my list of things to remember to take pictures... but guess what I forgot to do? Take pictures! We had a chalkboard for people to vote if they thought it was a boy or girl, blue and pink cookies, popcorn, regular m&ms and peanut m&ms, Hershey bars, and pink and blue drinks. I think it was pretty cute and I was proud of us ;)I'm not very good at decorating cute and things like that but I was happy with it. When it was time to tell everyone what we were having we dropped down balloons. Logan had found this clear bag that you fill with balloons and really wanted to use that but I told him everyone would see what color the balloons were before we dropped them. He is Mr. Fix It so he bought black garbage bags and covered the whole thing so no one would be able to see! He then blew up 75 balloons haha! Once everyone was there and we had everyone on the phones (3 phones, the Ipad and a video on another phone... it was a big production :) we got ready for the balloon drop! Logan did such a good job building it and setting it up it went perfectly and I think it was a fun way for our family and friends to find out. The video is on my facebook and I can't get figure out how to get it on here, but I'm sure that's okay.

Sometimes I forget to call her a She instead of the baby or it like we had to for so long, but I'm getting more used to it. We're so excited and so grateful for how many people are happy and excited for us. We can't wait for baby girl to get here and all the happiness that she will bring to our family of almost four!

How far along: 21 W 3 D (I'm really bad at taking pictures of myself sorry Erin)

Total weight gain: 7 lbs

Maternity clothes: Need more! A girl always need more clothes right?! Good luck Logan!

Sleep: Can't get enough of it!

Best moment of this week: Finding out I passed one of my midterms I was super worried about. It gave me hope that I may actually survive this semester.

Miss anything: My family (but I guess that isn't pregnancy related)

Movement: All the time! I can't remember if I said this last time but I swear she wants to be an accountant or something. Whenever I am in my finance class or doing my finance homework she is super active. And it isn't even a type of day thing because I'll do my homework at different times and I can always count on feeling her.

Food cravings: All food. All the time. Haha no but really I've never felt so hungry!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Just when I'm hungry I start not feeling great, usually that's only when I wake up.

Have you started to show yet: Yep!

Gender: GIRL! :D

Labor signs: No but I think I have had some Braxton Hicks. I have always had this thing where if there is water in my sight I can't help but drink it. Well that has gotten me into trouble a couple times. I'll drink so much and then be in the car or doing homework and be too focused to realize I really need to go pee. My bladder is then so full that I think it causes some contractions, or at least that seems like what it is from the research I did. It wasn't very enjoyable so I've made sure to avoid that from now on.

Belly button in or out: In

Wedding rings on or off: Off! Even if you only read this part for a quick summary you should read the story about my rings. It could save yours some day ;)

Happy or moody most of the time: Happy!

Looking forward to: Graduation! 6 weeks and countingggg

Baby Hancock!

I’ve been feeling bad that I haven’t documented my pregnancy! I think I’ve been putting it off for a couple of reasons. First, I feel like I just started looking pregnant instead of just chubby! I should have just taken some pictures but oh well, can’t do anything about it now! Second is a little bit more psychological… I think I’ve been scared to let myself be fully excited. Given my family’s history with miscarriages and how long it took us to get pregnant, I’ve been almost waiting for something to go wrong. I think now that I can feel the baby daily and am growing almost every day as well I’m letting that go, and it’s really nice! So I want to write down what I remember from the first 18 weeks so that I can always remember! This first post will be a bit of a novel… but I’ll try to do weekly updates after this. Don't feel like you need to read this whole thing I just wanted to always remember!

Finally a positive test!! On November 3rd, I was 5 days late. I had waited as long as I possibly could to take a test. After taking several tests in the past and having them always be negative, both Logan and I were afraid to have that same result. Let me just say, (TMI coming) that going to the bathroom for those 5 days may have been the most terrifying thing I can remember. Every time was torture just because of the fear that my period would come. BUT MIRACLE OF MIRACLES IT DIDN’T! That Sunday morning I woke up to pee at like 5 in the morning (I should have known then :) and told Logan, “hey! Wake up I’m going to take a test!” and he sleepily said okay… So I take it… Longest two minutes of my life. I couldn’t even look at Logan I was too worried. Then! The strongest plus sign I have ever seen came up! I was ecstatic and Logan was… sleepy :)I told him it was positive and he smiled the biggest sleepiest smile I’ve seen on his face. I don’t think either one of us went back to sleep so we waited a few hours to call our families. It was so much fun to share it with them. We’d always thought we would wait so long to tell people, but after trying for so long, and having our family praying for us, we couldn’t keep it a secret for more than a few hours! According to the apps I downloaded within minutes of the positive test, I was 4 weeks and 6 days (If I can remember right) and my Due Date was July 7th. Over the next few weeks I took a few more pregnancy tests, four in total haha.

This picture makes me laugh because we dressed up as Thing 1 and Thing 2 at work for Halloween. All the residents thought we were pregnant and I thought they were crazy. Turns out I was!

My doctor sees ladies for the first time at 9 weeks, unless they need to be seen before that. At the end of 7 weeks I was having, what felt like to me, really painful cramps. They weren’t bend over in pain cramps but they were strong and hurt so I called and they said come in and get check out. They did an ultrasound and saw the embryonic sac and yolk, but the baby was too small to see. They also said I had sub chorionic bleeding so that could be the cause of the cramps. Oh also, my uterus is tilted or backwards, I can’t really remember what they said but apparently that’s no big deal either? Odd. Anyway none of this was necessarily bad news, but it wasn’t great or no need to worry news either. So they said come back a week later. A week later we did another ultrasound… and there was the little flicker on the screen :) A teeny little heart beat that was strong, and then most of the worries went away. This is our little babe at 8ish weeks.

My next appointment was for 12 weeks. We were going to San Diego for Christmas on the day I actually was 12 weeks, so we went 11 weeks and 4 days. Everything was great and I think that was the first time we actually got to hear the heartbeat. It was an amazing sound! My symptoms for that time in between definitely intensified, which since we were worried about miscarriage, sort of made me feel better. On days I wasn’t sick I would worry, think oh I wish I was sick today because I know everything is still good then, and then not too long after that my wish would be granted, and then some. When we came to our 12 week appointment I was down 6 pounds and that was sort of a surprise. The other problems I’d had in those weeks was first the flu, not stomach but the cold variety. I was more sick than I ever remember being before and literally slept for 48 straight hours. I was so miserably sick. Then after I got better from that, two days later I got a cold. That ended up in an upper respiratory infection, but there wasn’t anything the doctors could really do. By my appointment this week though, I could tell I was mostly over it.

After that great appointment we were all squared away to go to San Diego. I worked the Sunday night before we left on Monday morning. While at work I was taking care of a resident with my coworker and we were lifting her back into bed. This resident is super light so I wasn’t worried at all with both of us under each arm. I don’t remember if the bed hit me or the resident or what, but I remember a sharp pain in my lower stomach. I figured I just needed to pee or something but went to the bathroom and had some bleeding. I called the doctor and he said even though we were planning on leaving the next morning early, he wanted to see me just to check. We went to the doctor and I was scared. They were so nice to see us first thing when they opened. Luckily they put us out of our misery quickly by listening for the heartbeat. There it was! I was confused but relieved. The doctor was happy but wanted to do an ultrasound to see if they could see a reason for the bleeding, and there wasn’t. There was our little alien looking baby laying on its side just like we both love to sleep :) That sub chorionic bleeding was gone so I wondered if maybe that was what had happened? But we left so happy and relieved and were on our way for a two week vacation. Yay!

The next few weeks were great and normal! When I hit the second trimester my nausea got worse for the next week or so. Everything I had read said you hit the second trimester, your morning sickness will have subsided! Lies! It got worse! I had two weeks of extreme hunger. If I didn’t eat super often, I would get sick. Then I wouldn’t want to eat, which would make me even sicker. I was glad when that was over! I also got my third cold of the pregnancy. Sheesh! After about week 13 my tummy started growing, but like I said, in just sort of a chubby way. Oh, I also thought I felt a few flutters during week 13. Obviously I didn’t know what they should feel like, but it felt like a teeny butterfly from inside me. A few weeks later I felt it more and more often and really think that was what it was! Now I feel it a lot! Our baby should definitely be in gymnastics in a few years!

Logan keeps giving me a look like this is way too long so I’ll wrap up. Next Wednesday we find out if it’s a boy or a girl! We can’t wait!!

How far along: 19 weeks (yesterday, it took me a while to remember how to work blogger again.)

Total weight gain: Not sure, we need a scale! Last time I checked I was back up to two pounds less than I started, but I’m sure I’ve passed that by now.

Maternity clothes: I’ve gotten a few things. My clothes still fit if I wear a belly band that Tara gave me, but I got a few maternity items that are so comfy!

Stretch marks: One on my hip that I’d had from when I got hips all of a sudden my sophomore year of college that has reappeared. Oh well!

Sleep: I get up usually once a night to pee. Logan bought me a Snoogle for Christmas and it is awesome. It helps me sleep great, and Presley loves it too :)

Best moment of this week: Getting to 19 weeks today! Also last night I felt a kick so strong that I felt it with my arm that was resting on my belly. Hopefully Logan will be able to feel one soon!

Miss anything: Walking without getting crazy out of breath

Movement: A lot! Baby is a swimmer/gymnast!

Food cravings: Not really, mostly fresh fruit.

Anything making you queasy or sick: sometimes food just doesn’t sound good or when I get a migraine I don’t like eating, but that’s not too often.

Have you started to show yet: yes! but people tell me I'm tiny but I definitely don't feel tiny!

Gender: 8 more days!

Labor signs: Nope.

Belly button in or out: still in

Wedding rings on or off: on but maybe not for long!

Happy or moody most of the time: Mostly happy, a few random tears for no reason but generally happy. Maybe Logan begs to differ though haha!

Looking forward to: Finding out if it’s a girl or boy!

Remember... when we got married?

Whoopsies! that was SIX months ago. I've got a lot to catch up on.

Where to start? Our wedding day was a dream. We loved every minute of it. I wish that we could just go back and slow down time and relive it for at least a week. I wonder if Logan feels the same? He says yes.

I feel so grateful to have been SEALED for ALL ETERNITY to Logan. And that we were able to make those covenants in MY temple. The temple I grew up with loving everyday, waiting to see that spiral staircase again someday. (I got to go through the open house when I was super little and that was all I remembered.) It ALL exceeded my expectations. Since the temple had been closed for about two weeks before, there were about 19 sealings that day. Our sealing started late, I don't remember how late, but Logan and I got to sit and kind of pause. I was so jittery but so glad that he and I could sit and reflect on the choices that we had made that got us there, what we were about to do, and that we had ETERNITY to do what we were doing right there. Sit and be still and fall even deeper in love. It was perfect and meaningful and special.

Want to learn more about temples? Go here.

I felt everything was absolutely perfect. I was so grateful that SO many family members and friends were there. WE felt so loved and just absolutely joyful! That's probably the best word to describe it!

The rain stopped long enough for us to get pictures outside the temple AND the beach. :) I was so so grateful for that. There is this one picture, or maybe it's in the video I can't remember, but our wedding party is all huddled under a tree just waiting for the rain to stop. Our friend Mark is kind of a worrier, but right when I was saying I didn't care we could just go he said no that cloud right there is about to break then it will be done! (or something along those lines!) I was so grateful for his optimism, and prophesy ;) he was right and we got to take some of my favorite pictures!

It wouldn't have been the same without our family and friends that were there. It meant so much that they traveled so far to be there for our special day. When I think back on that day, I am filled with so much love. Of course for my sweet hubby, but also for the smiling faces that overwhelmed me when we walked into the sealing room. To feel all of their excitement and happiness meant the world to me. On top of the spirit that filled me with such assurance that I had made the right choice in Logan. And every day since has been filled with those feelings. Absolute love and absolute love in my choice.

And next, on to the reception! The ultimate party :)

Wedding Info!

Hello Everyone :) Welcome to our blog!

We just wanted to give you some wedding details to make things easier for you!

To RSVP to the California reception, please go to http://21839.rsvpmenow.com/

To RSVP to the Idaho open house, please go to http://21840.rsvpmenow.com/

For your information we are registered at Bed, Bath & Beyond, Target and Bloomingdales.

We don't know our address yet, but we will be living near Logan's parents. Their address is 3857 E 390 N, Rigby Idaho 83442

We are so excited for the wedding and hope to see all of you on our big day :) Thank you!

Happy Christmas Harry!

Hopefully people know where that title is from :)

Grandpa gave us our Christmas money before we left from Thanksgiving and we were so grateful! On Wednesday we were finishing registering, and I wanted SO badly to register for a new camera. Logan had been borrowing his Dad's and mine just struggles all together so i never take it anywhere. So while staring longingly at this camera that I wanted I had a genius idea! Christmas present!

so we went to best buy and bought this beauty! :)

 

I think this is the one, but it doesn't say anything about the HD video it takes in the description. Isn't that awesome? 

So that night Logan had a basketball and I put our new camera to good use! 

The first picture on the new camera! Thank you Grandma and Grandpa!!! 

My studly man :) 

He might be mad I posted this picture... but I think he's cute :) 

Here's Logan's really, um, mature and good looking team. Haha, at least they're good at basketball! I think they're undefeated and so far they've won both games in the championship tournament! Hopefully they keep it up and Logan gets another championship shirt so I can wear one of them :)  

Adria was mad she was still in her work clothes, but I think she's just supporting the team, that's their name, 

5 Buck Pizza :) 

Relaxing after our long day! SO HAPPY! :)