Some Thoughts

This past week some things have happened that I have really been impacted by and wanted to write about. We had a really sad tragedy occur in our ward last week. The sister that I visit teach lost her 4 month old baby. It isn't my story to tell so that's all I'll say about it, except for the feelings I've had. I've basically never felt so helpless and sad for someone. I wish we were all knowing like our Heavenly Father is and that we could know why we have the challenges that we do.

There is one thing that I do know though, and that is that we have been given promises that can break the bands of death because of the sacrifice that our Savior made for us. A couple talks really gave me comfort and perspective as I've thought so much about their family.

The first one is Elder Wirthlin's "Come What May and Love It" I remember hearing this talk the first time and thinking how great it was, but I didn't remember this really important part that Logan pointed out to me on Sunday.

"The Principle of Compensation The third thing we can do is understand the principle of compensation. The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.

One of the blessings of the gospel is the knowledge that when the curtain of death signals the end of our mortal lives, life will continue on the other side of the veil. There we will be given new opportunities. Not even death can take from us the eternal blessings promised by a loving Heavenly Father.

Because Heavenly Father is merciful, a principle of compensation prevails." Here's the link for that talk. https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/come-what-may-and-love-it?lang=eng

What a comfort and a blessing to know that we have that promise from Heavenly Father. This whole experience has made me really think about our daughter and what life experiences we will go through with her and what challenges she will be given. There are no promises of an easy life, but there are promises of a happy one if we live the gospel to the best of our abilities.

The other talk was what I posted on Facebook the other day after the funeral. Elder Hollands "An High Priest of Good Things to Come" It has been one of my favorite talks for a long time and especially the quote that it is most known for... "Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come." The entire talk is beautiful and filled with hope and true principles of the blessings that come when we take full advantage of the Atonement. And the quote for that talk https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1999/10/an-high-priest-of-good-things-to-come?lang=eng

That quote of blessings to come helped me through our struggle of getting pregnant. I've read a lot of posts lately about what not to say to people struggling with infertility. I wrote last time about how I was nervous to really talk a lot about being pregnant at first, and I think that was because I was afraid of making things harder for those trying or unable to get pregnant. I've watched so many people around me get pregnant, have their babies and now raise their babies, all while longing that I could be like them. I know how hard that can be. I never felt resentment towards them though, and had so much joy in being around my friend's kids and our nieces. I thought I had faith during that struggle, but know I could have been better. There were times that people said mean and hurtful things to us, assuming that we weren't having kids because it was our choice (like that's any of their business if that was the reason.) If Logan hadn't stopped me I would have punched a few of them in the face. I'm not talking about things like "are you guys planning on having kids anytime soon?" but things like "You better hurry up to catch up to the rest of us" (from a person we knew for five minutes) or even when we finally were pregnant "It's about time you had a baby." To that one I almost replied, "Funny that's just what I told my uterus." Anyway, my point of all of this is that, sometimes answers to prayers don't come when we want them. Actually that's not right. Sometimes answers to prayers don't come HOW we want them. I think back on those nearly two years of waiting and think how the timing just wasn't right for us yet. I don't want to sound like that's what I think everyone's reason for infertility is, but since we had no medical reason of not being able to get pregnant, I feel like it could have been ours. Through that time I often would hear Elder Holland's voice in my head and think, those blessings will come, I don't know when, but I know they will.

I hope I never say the wrong thing to someone who is going through any kind of struggle. I hope that friends going through the struggle of infertility know that I will listen anytime and try to comfort in anyway possible (and when people say rude things, if Logan isn't around I might even punch them for you;) I know that there is one supreme being who understands our feelings exactly, and hope that we can all find peace when we turn to Him.