June 25, 2014

First let me make an excuse for why I slacked on the blog. After my last post I had to finish school, find a new place to live in Arizona (without getting to check them out first) not district Logan from studying for the two most important tests of his career, figure out what to do with our town home, sell our car, pack our house and oh yeah be pregnant! Those were some stressful months but it all worked out! We've been in Arizona for about 5 months and have decided to make it our home. More on that later but first Janie's story!

June 25th might just be my favorite day in my life thus far. The day I became a mother. What?! Sometimes I think it might not set in fully until she can talk and calls me mama.

I had a doctors appointment on June 23rd 38 weeks and was really hoping for progress because my doctor was going out of town the next week (when Id would've been 39 weeks) and I didn't want to have my baby with some random stranger. I also was really hot and done being pregnant! So she checked me at that appointment and I was only dilated to a 1 (I think she was just being generous) and still only 30% effaced (both were the same as the week before). I came home mad and convinced that I would never be done being pregnant! Ha!

That night I was having a pretty hilarious dream. I was with Sean and Catherine (from the TV show the Bachelor)and we were in an apartment complex parking lot hanging out and talking. A huge storm started and I saw a tornado forming and asked them if we had better get inside. They said we didn't have time for that and to get underneath the nearby cars for protection. I thought this was the dumbest idea but tried it anyway and obviously being 9 months pregnant I couldn't fit! So I started "getting rained on" and then in a half asleep half awake state realized I really was getting wet... and that just confused me haha! So I woke up and went to the bathroom and realized I was a lot more wet than I had thought I was and yelled to Logan, "I think maybe my water broke?" Well, our bed is against the wall and I was sleeping on the outside, so when he got up to come check on me he realized that it had indeed broken ;) That was at 4:30am on the 24th so we excitedly got ready to go. Logan will always make fun of me because I curled my hair for like .2 seconds. I wasn't having any contractions that I could feel so I wasn't in too big of a hurry.

We got to the hospital at 5am and they checked to see if my water had broken and the nurse said something like Oh yeah! haha! We called my mom and texted the rest of the family after that. I was having slight contractions but still couldn't really feel anything yet. I was still dilated to only a 1 but 50% effaced and the nurses there said I was a great candidate for pitocin because my cervix was really soft. My doctor came in and they started me on pitocin and then got us moved up to our room. It was a nice big room with plenty of room for Logan's pull out bed chair thingy. Good thing since we were gonna be there a long time!

By 9 am they turned up the pitocin and the nurse was encouraging saying my body was doing what it should be and the contractions were looking good. The contractions still weren't painful. This nurse was probably my favorite because her name was Erin. If only I had another nurse named Tara it would have been perfect! 10 am they checked me again- still only a 1. I can't remember exactly who told me this but normally your body should dilate 1 cm every 2 hours or so (don't quote me on that though!) so I was a little discouraged. I tried getting on the birthing ball to see if that would help move things along.

At 12:30 I was dilated to a 3.5 and 90% efffaced and her head was low enough they could feel her hair. That surprised me I was sure she would be bald! I can't remember exactly but my Mom got there around 2 I think? Everyone kept telling me to rest but I couldn't I was too excited! Poor Logan was just so exhausted though! At 4:30 they started me on antibiotics since it had been 12 hours since my water had broken. I was dilated to a "good 4" and my contractions were definitely hurting. My pain level during the contractions was probably about a 7 or 8. I wasn't sure how bad it would get so I didn't know when I should ask for an epidural but then two thoughts crossed my mind. First that the nurses switch shifts at 6 and I really liked Erin so wanted her to be the one to be there when I got the epidural, and second that maybe an epidural would help relax my body enough that I would dilate quicker. I got the epidural about at about 5pm. It wasn't nearly as scary as I had thought it would be. At about 5:20 I started feeling tingly and the monitor was showing contractions that I was no longer feeling. Other than things going slowly everything was great and I was feeling really calm but had a random thought to ask Erin at what heart rate do they start worrying about the baby? She told me when it gets to the low 100's they start worrying and what they do when that happens.

At 6pm my doctor came back in and checked me. I hadn't dilated at all and was still only at a 4. She decided to up my pitocin and they put in an internal monitor to track the contractions better. There was basically no reason for my cervix to be so slow because my contractions were good strength and duration. I had my new nurse and she was also really sweet and LDS just like Erin was so that was comforting to me.

At 8:30 that nurse (I really wish I remembered her name) checked me and said I was at a 6. Woo progress! She convinced me to get some rest so I did. Dr. Schallock came back at about 11pm (I think, the timing gets a little foggy here)and checked me again and had some discouraging news. According to her I was actually only dilated to a 5. She said maybe my nurse has smaller hands than her or was just being generous because I was, in her opinion, only to a 5. So then she said I "had some options". Not what I wanted to hear! I tried to hold it together when she was talking to me but the second she "stepped out of the room so we could discuss some things" I lost it to Logan and some random nurse. My nurse had been helping someone else when Dr. Schallock was checking me but came in shortly after. I was pretty upset that my body didn't seem to be doing what it should be and felt like I was being rushed into a C-section when I didn't need to be. I was feeling fine, Janie was doing fine, it was just taking a while but I didn't see the reason to discuss "options." Luckily everyone agreed with me and after my Dr. left the nurse was really sweet and apologized I got upset and just reaffirmed what I was feeling. She gave me some essential oil that is supposed to calm you down, helped me get into a comfortable position and then I tried to get some rest.

Sometime after midnight I woke up from being uncomfortable and was watching the monitors. Janie's heart rate was in the low 100's. I watched it for like 30 seconds and all of a sudden there were 4 nurses in my room. They changed my position, put an internal monitor on Janie's head, stopped the pitocin and called my doctor. Luckily I had felt impressed to ask Erin that question because I knew exactly what they were doing and why. When my doctor came back and brought up C-section again I knew it was time. The spirit really helped calm me down and have a feeling of peace to know this was what was best for Janie. I wasn't scared at all like I had been just a few hours before. I just wanted Janie safe!! I think it was my first moment of mama-bear-ness because I was so confident in knowing the c-section was the right decision and everything would be great. Logan and I just looked at each other and shook our heads in agreement. I don't think I'll ever forget the look he gave me.

They gave me a shot to boost her heart rate up and it sure did the trick! It made me super shaky and that was pretty miserable. It was annoying because no matter how hard I tried I couldn't control it or calm myself down. From the time we decided to do the c-section and the time Janie was born was about a half an hour.

They wheeled me into the operating room and then Logan came in. He looked super cute in his blue gown- even better than McDreamy in my opinion ;) The anesthesiologist told me that as soon as Janie was out he would stop the shaking. He made sure I couldn't feel anything and they started! I'm still not sure if it was just the medication he had given me or if he really was as handsome as I thought but he had the prettiest blue eyes I had ever seen. I told him so and he just said I'd had lots of medication haha. He might be my favorite person of the whole experience because that shaking was so annoying and he really did stop it the second Janie was out! He also took a million picture of her so that Logan could hold her immediately and I am so grateful for that!

It was the strangest thing hearing the doctors talking about their lives while I was undergoing this crazy surgery! I could feel tugging/pulling but no pain at all. Logan was right by my side and neither of us dared to look over that daunting blue curtain. At 2:17am we heard the most beautiful sound on the planet- our baby's cry! I started crying instantly and then they said "Mom hey Mom look over here!" and there she was! This beautiful bright pink baby girl! Ah it was heaven!

I'm so glad my mom got her flight changed and to the hospital so fast. It was such a relief to have her there. She was supposed to be watching the Harrison girls while Tara was at girls camp and Spencer worked so I felt bad for ruining those plans, but my Dad had a great time watching the girls and I know the girls did too.

Janie's birth didn't go exactly according to my plan, but it still was a spiritual and wonderful experience. All day while my Mom, Logan and I were waiting we were just so happy. I feel proud that I did my best to get her here, and grateful for modern medicine that helped when she and I needed. I felt the Spirit all day long encouraging me and helping me to recognize the blessing of what I was doing- bringing one of our Heavenly Father's spirits into this world. It's the craziest thing to think back on that day and how excited we were to meet her because now life without her doesn't seem real.

Some Thoughts

This past week some things have happened that I have really been impacted by and wanted to write about. We had a really sad tragedy occur in our ward last week. The sister that I visit teach lost her 4 month old baby. It isn't my story to tell so that's all I'll say about it, except for the feelings I've had. I've basically never felt so helpless and sad for someone. I wish we were all knowing like our Heavenly Father is and that we could know why we have the challenges that we do.

There is one thing that I do know though, and that is that we have been given promises that can break the bands of death because of the sacrifice that our Savior made for us. A couple talks really gave me comfort and perspective as I've thought so much about their family.

The first one is Elder Wirthlin's "Come What May and Love It" I remember hearing this talk the first time and thinking how great it was, but I didn't remember this really important part that Logan pointed out to me on Sunday.

"The Principle of Compensation The third thing we can do is understand the principle of compensation. The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.

One of the blessings of the gospel is the knowledge that when the curtain of death signals the end of our mortal lives, life will continue on the other side of the veil. There we will be given new opportunities. Not even death can take from us the eternal blessings promised by a loving Heavenly Father.

Because Heavenly Father is merciful, a principle of compensation prevails." Here's the link for that talk. https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/come-what-may-and-love-it?lang=eng

What a comfort and a blessing to know that we have that promise from Heavenly Father. This whole experience has made me really think about our daughter and what life experiences we will go through with her and what challenges she will be given. There are no promises of an easy life, but there are promises of a happy one if we live the gospel to the best of our abilities.

The other talk was what I posted on Facebook the other day after the funeral. Elder Hollands "An High Priest of Good Things to Come" It has been one of my favorite talks for a long time and especially the quote that it is most known for... "Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come." The entire talk is beautiful and filled with hope and true principles of the blessings that come when we take full advantage of the Atonement. And the quote for that talk https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1999/10/an-high-priest-of-good-things-to-come?lang=eng

That quote of blessings to come helped me through our struggle of getting pregnant. I've read a lot of posts lately about what not to say to people struggling with infertility. I wrote last time about how I was nervous to really talk a lot about being pregnant at first, and I think that was because I was afraid of making things harder for those trying or unable to get pregnant. I've watched so many people around me get pregnant, have their babies and now raise their babies, all while longing that I could be like them. I know how hard that can be. I never felt resentment towards them though, and had so much joy in being around my friend's kids and our nieces. I thought I had faith during that struggle, but know I could have been better. There were times that people said mean and hurtful things to us, assuming that we weren't having kids because it was our choice (like that's any of their business if that was the reason.) If Logan hadn't stopped me I would have punched a few of them in the face. I'm not talking about things like "are you guys planning on having kids anytime soon?" but things like "You better hurry up to catch up to the rest of us" (from a person we knew for five minutes) or even when we finally were pregnant "It's about time you had a baby." To that one I almost replied, "Funny that's just what I told my uterus." Anyway, my point of all of this is that, sometimes answers to prayers don't come when we want them. Actually that's not right. Sometimes answers to prayers don't come HOW we want them. I think back on those nearly two years of waiting and think how the timing just wasn't right for us yet. I don't want to sound like that's what I think everyone's reason for infertility is, but since we had no medical reason of not being able to get pregnant, I feel like it could have been ours. Through that time I often would hear Elder Holland's voice in my head and think, those blessings will come, I don't know when, but I know they will.

I hope I never say the wrong thing to someone who is going through any kind of struggle. I hope that friends going through the struggle of infertility know that I will listen anytime and try to comfort in anyway possible (and when people say rude things, if Logan isn't around I might even punch them for you;) I know that there is one supreme being who understands our feelings exactly, and hope that we can all find peace when we turn to Him.

It's a Girl!!

Wednesday February 19th was our 3rd anniversary! When we scheduled our ultrasound we thought it would be so much fun to do it on our anniversary. The only problem was that they said we could do it as early as 18 weeks, and on our anniversary I’d be 20 weeks and 2 days. We almost called so many times to change our appointment to earlier but I’m so glad we didn’t! It was the perfect way to spend our anniversary.

My appointment was at 9am. I always have to try to calm myself down when they take my blood pressure. I think my first few appointments I was just so anxious to find out how baby was doing that it would spike it up. They would take it again after my appointment and it would be perfectly normal. Ever since then I try to really calm down and take a lot of deep breaths and that has helped. I wasn’t sure that it would work this time though because I was just too excited!!

I’d heard that drinking orange juice helped to make sure baby was wiggly and cooperated so I had a cup while we were heading over to the appointment. When we started the ultrasound she was definitely sleeping and not too keen on being poked to move around! She was laying on her side facing us so we couldn’t tell the sex right away. The tech decided she would just check her major organs out until she decided to let us know she is in fact a she! Logan and I were talking about something she did and all of a sudden the tech said you're having a girl! It felt almost nonchalant at first but then I looked at Logan's face and it all became so real and exciting! She is perfectly healthy and in the 58% (for weight I believe) weighing 14 oz! She told us how long she is and her head size but I can't remember. The most important thing was everything has developed well so far and we are so grateful for that!

We got to see her do all sorts of wiggles and twists. She yawned and stretched and sucked on her fingers and basically made us fall completely in love with her. She also gave us a wave with just one finger (if you know what I mean) but we won't hold that against her. ;)

When we were finished with the ultrasound the tech asked if we needed anything else or had any questions. I told her I had one but it was sort of strange... You see my ring started off too tight before I even got pregnant. I pretty much only got if off in the freezing winter time. We tried a few times to get it off before but my fingers got even more swollen and nothing worked- soap, lotion, butter and we even tried the floss trick. I had seen this video and thought we should try it but needed the right kind of cord- a cord from the oxygen mask. The ER Doctor in the video said he’s never had to cut off a ring and so the ultrasound tech was totally awesome and got it off. My knuckle was red and sore for a while but it beats having to cut my ring off and then paying to get it fixed/resized. Although we will be getting it resized after baby girl comes! So for now I have this ring that I actually really like from Walmart on my ring finger. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxoAbK5Pc6w

After the appointment we got in the car and said a tearful and happy prayer. I've never been more grateful to be sealed to Logan. Now that we know its a girl it all seems so much more real. We wonder what she'll be like. What will she look like? What will her personality be like? I pictured her in my Cross Country uniform pretty much right after I heard it was a girl! Please be a runner girly, please! I had to go to school right after and Logan went to the party store in Idaho Falls to build the balloon thing we did at the party. While I was at school I bought a shirt and while Logan was in Idaho Falls he bought two outfits :) What a cutie! I was so nervous that he would be sort of disappointed it was a girl because he wanted to have the first boy, but he is head over heals for her. It is so much fun!

That night we had our party to reveal what we were having to our family and friends. We had so much fun and are so grateful for everyone that came and that we could Facetime with our family that wasn't there. I had on my list of things to remember to take pictures... but guess what I forgot to do? Take pictures! We had a chalkboard for people to vote if they thought it was a boy or girl, blue and pink cookies, popcorn, regular m&ms and peanut m&ms, Hershey bars, and pink and blue drinks. I think it was pretty cute and I was proud of us ;)I'm not very good at decorating cute and things like that but I was happy with it. When it was time to tell everyone what we were having we dropped down balloons. Logan had found this clear bag that you fill with balloons and really wanted to use that but I told him everyone would see what color the balloons were before we dropped them. He is Mr. Fix It so he bought black garbage bags and covered the whole thing so no one would be able to see! He then blew up 75 balloons haha! Once everyone was there and we had everyone on the phones (3 phones, the Ipad and a video on another phone... it was a big production :) we got ready for the balloon drop! Logan did such a good job building it and setting it up it went perfectly and I think it was a fun way for our family and friends to find out. The video is on my facebook and I can't get figure out how to get it on here, but I'm sure that's okay.

Sometimes I forget to call her a She instead of the baby or it like we had to for so long, but I'm getting more used to it. We're so excited and so grateful for how many people are happy and excited for us. We can't wait for baby girl to get here and all the happiness that she will bring to our family of almost four!

How far along: 21 W 3 D (I'm really bad at taking pictures of myself sorry Erin)

Total weight gain: 7 lbs

Maternity clothes: Need more! A girl always need more clothes right?! Good luck Logan!

Sleep: Can't get enough of it!

Best moment of this week: Finding out I passed one of my midterms I was super worried about. It gave me hope that I may actually survive this semester.

Miss anything: My family (but I guess that isn't pregnancy related)

Movement: All the time! I can't remember if I said this last time but I swear she wants to be an accountant or something. Whenever I am in my finance class or doing my finance homework she is super active. And it isn't even a type of day thing because I'll do my homework at different times and I can always count on feeling her.

Food cravings: All food. All the time. Haha no but really I've never felt so hungry!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Just when I'm hungry I start not feeling great, usually that's only when I wake up.

Have you started to show yet: Yep!

Gender: GIRL! :D

Labor signs: No but I think I have had some Braxton Hicks. I have always had this thing where if there is water in my sight I can't help but drink it. Well that has gotten me into trouble a couple times. I'll drink so much and then be in the car or doing homework and be too focused to realize I really need to go pee. My bladder is then so full that I think it causes some contractions, or at least that seems like what it is from the research I did. It wasn't very enjoyable so I've made sure to avoid that from now on.

Belly button in or out: In

Wedding rings on or off: Off! Even if you only read this part for a quick summary you should read the story about my rings. It could save yours some day ;)

Happy or moody most of the time: Happy!

Looking forward to: Graduation! 6 weeks and countingggg

Baby Hancock!

I’ve been feeling bad that I haven’t documented my pregnancy! I think I’ve been putting it off for a couple of reasons. First, I feel like I just started looking pregnant instead of just chubby! I should have just taken some pictures but oh well, can’t do anything about it now! Second is a little bit more psychological… I think I’ve been scared to let myself be fully excited. Given my family’s history with miscarriages and how long it took us to get pregnant, I’ve been almost waiting for something to go wrong. I think now that I can feel the baby daily and am growing almost every day as well I’m letting that go, and it’s really nice! So I want to write down what I remember from the first 18 weeks so that I can always remember! This first post will be a bit of a novel… but I’ll try to do weekly updates after this. Don't feel like you need to read this whole thing I just wanted to always remember!

Finally a positive test!! On November 3rd, I was 5 days late. I had waited as long as I possibly could to take a test. After taking several tests in the past and having them always be negative, both Logan and I were afraid to have that same result. Let me just say, (TMI coming) that going to the bathroom for those 5 days may have been the most terrifying thing I can remember. Every time was torture just because of the fear that my period would come. BUT MIRACLE OF MIRACLES IT DIDN’T! That Sunday morning I woke up to pee at like 5 in the morning (I should have known then :) and told Logan, “hey! Wake up I’m going to take a test!” and he sleepily said okay… So I take it… Longest two minutes of my life. I couldn’t even look at Logan I was too worried. Then! The strongest plus sign I have ever seen came up! I was ecstatic and Logan was… sleepy :)I told him it was positive and he smiled the biggest sleepiest smile I’ve seen on his face. I don’t think either one of us went back to sleep so we waited a few hours to call our families. It was so much fun to share it with them. We’d always thought we would wait so long to tell people, but after trying for so long, and having our family praying for us, we couldn’t keep it a secret for more than a few hours! According to the apps I downloaded within minutes of the positive test, I was 4 weeks and 6 days (If I can remember right) and my Due Date was July 7th. Over the next few weeks I took a few more pregnancy tests, four in total haha.

This picture makes me laugh because we dressed up as Thing 1 and Thing 2 at work for Halloween. All the residents thought we were pregnant and I thought they were crazy. Turns out I was!

My doctor sees ladies for the first time at 9 weeks, unless they need to be seen before that. At the end of 7 weeks I was having, what felt like to me, really painful cramps. They weren’t bend over in pain cramps but they were strong and hurt so I called and they said come in and get check out. They did an ultrasound and saw the embryonic sac and yolk, but the baby was too small to see. They also said I had sub chorionic bleeding so that could be the cause of the cramps. Oh also, my uterus is tilted or backwards, I can’t really remember what they said but apparently that’s no big deal either? Odd. Anyway none of this was necessarily bad news, but it wasn’t great or no need to worry news either. So they said come back a week later. A week later we did another ultrasound… and there was the little flicker on the screen :) A teeny little heart beat that was strong, and then most of the worries went away. This is our little babe at 8ish weeks.

My next appointment was for 12 weeks. We were going to San Diego for Christmas on the day I actually was 12 weeks, so we went 11 weeks and 4 days. Everything was great and I think that was the first time we actually got to hear the heartbeat. It was an amazing sound! My symptoms for that time in between definitely intensified, which since we were worried about miscarriage, sort of made me feel better. On days I wasn’t sick I would worry, think oh I wish I was sick today because I know everything is still good then, and then not too long after that my wish would be granted, and then some. When we came to our 12 week appointment I was down 6 pounds and that was sort of a surprise. The other problems I’d had in those weeks was first the flu, not stomach but the cold variety. I was more sick than I ever remember being before and literally slept for 48 straight hours. I was so miserably sick. Then after I got better from that, two days later I got a cold. That ended up in an upper respiratory infection, but there wasn’t anything the doctors could really do. By my appointment this week though, I could tell I was mostly over it.

After that great appointment we were all squared away to go to San Diego. I worked the Sunday night before we left on Monday morning. While at work I was taking care of a resident with my coworker and we were lifting her back into bed. This resident is super light so I wasn’t worried at all with both of us under each arm. I don’t remember if the bed hit me or the resident or what, but I remember a sharp pain in my lower stomach. I figured I just needed to pee or something but went to the bathroom and had some bleeding. I called the doctor and he said even though we were planning on leaving the next morning early, he wanted to see me just to check. We went to the doctor and I was scared. They were so nice to see us first thing when they opened. Luckily they put us out of our misery quickly by listening for the heartbeat. There it was! I was confused but relieved. The doctor was happy but wanted to do an ultrasound to see if they could see a reason for the bleeding, and there wasn’t. There was our little alien looking baby laying on its side just like we both love to sleep :) That sub chorionic bleeding was gone so I wondered if maybe that was what had happened? But we left so happy and relieved and were on our way for a two week vacation. Yay!

The next few weeks were great and normal! When I hit the second trimester my nausea got worse for the next week or so. Everything I had read said you hit the second trimester, your morning sickness will have subsided! Lies! It got worse! I had two weeks of extreme hunger. If I didn’t eat super often, I would get sick. Then I wouldn’t want to eat, which would make me even sicker. I was glad when that was over! I also got my third cold of the pregnancy. Sheesh! After about week 13 my tummy started growing, but like I said, in just sort of a chubby way. Oh, I also thought I felt a few flutters during week 13. Obviously I didn’t know what they should feel like, but it felt like a teeny butterfly from inside me. A few weeks later I felt it more and more often and really think that was what it was! Now I feel it a lot! Our baby should definitely be in gymnastics in a few years!

Logan keeps giving me a look like this is way too long so I’ll wrap up. Next Wednesday we find out if it’s a boy or a girl! We can’t wait!!

How far along: 19 weeks (yesterday, it took me a while to remember how to work blogger again.)

Total weight gain: Not sure, we need a scale! Last time I checked I was back up to two pounds less than I started, but I’m sure I’ve passed that by now.

Maternity clothes: I’ve gotten a few things. My clothes still fit if I wear a belly band that Tara gave me, but I got a few maternity items that are so comfy!

Stretch marks: One on my hip that I’d had from when I got hips all of a sudden my sophomore year of college that has reappeared. Oh well!

Sleep: I get up usually once a night to pee. Logan bought me a Snoogle for Christmas and it is awesome. It helps me sleep great, and Presley loves it too :)

Best moment of this week: Getting to 19 weeks today! Also last night I felt a kick so strong that I felt it with my arm that was resting on my belly. Hopefully Logan will be able to feel one soon!

Miss anything: Walking without getting crazy out of breath

Movement: A lot! Baby is a swimmer/gymnast!

Food cravings: Not really, mostly fresh fruit.

Anything making you queasy or sick: sometimes food just doesn’t sound good or when I get a migraine I don’t like eating, but that’s not too often.

Have you started to show yet: yes! but people tell me I'm tiny but I definitely don't feel tiny!

Gender: 8 more days!

Labor signs: Nope.

Belly button in or out: still in

Wedding rings on or off: on but maybe not for long!

Happy or moody most of the time: Mostly happy, a few random tears for no reason but generally happy. Maybe Logan begs to differ though haha!

Looking forward to: Finding out if it’s a girl or boy!

Remember... when we got married?

Whoopsies! that was SIX months ago. I've got a lot to catch up on.

Where to start? Our wedding day was a dream. We loved every minute of it. I wish that we could just go back and slow down time and relive it for at least a week. I wonder if Logan feels the same? He says yes.

I feel so grateful to have been SEALED for ALL ETERNITY to Logan. And that we were able to make those covenants in MY temple. The temple I grew up with loving everyday, waiting to see that spiral staircase again someday. (I got to go through the open house when I was super little and that was all I remembered.) It ALL exceeded my expectations. Since the temple had been closed for about two weeks before, there were about 19 sealings that day. Our sealing started late, I don't remember how late, but Logan and I got to sit and kind of pause. I was so jittery but so glad that he and I could sit and reflect on the choices that we had made that got us there, what we were about to do, and that we had ETERNITY to do what we were doing right there. Sit and be still and fall even deeper in love. It was perfect and meaningful and special.

Want to learn more about temples? Go here.

I felt everything was absolutely perfect. I was so grateful that SO many family members and friends were there. WE felt so loved and just absolutely joyful! That's probably the best word to describe it!

The rain stopped long enough for us to get pictures outside the temple AND the beach. :) I was so so grateful for that. There is this one picture, or maybe it's in the video I can't remember, but our wedding party is all huddled under a tree just waiting for the rain to stop. Our friend Mark is kind of a worrier, but right when I was saying I didn't care we could just go he said no that cloud right there is about to break then it will be done! (or something along those lines!) I was so grateful for his optimism, and prophesy ;) he was right and we got to take some of my favorite pictures!

It wouldn't have been the same without our family and friends that were there. It meant so much that they traveled so far to be there for our special day. When I think back on that day, I am filled with so much love. Of course for my sweet hubby, but also for the smiling faces that overwhelmed me when we walked into the sealing room. To feel all of their excitement and happiness meant the world to me. On top of the spirit that filled me with such assurance that I had made the right choice in Logan. And every day since has been filled with those feelings. Absolute love and absolute love in my choice.

And next, on to the reception! The ultimate party :)

Wedding Info!

Hello Everyone :) Welcome to our blog!

We just wanted to give you some wedding details to make things easier for you!

To RSVP to the California reception, please go to http://21839.rsvpmenow.com/

To RSVP to the Idaho open house, please go to http://21840.rsvpmenow.com/

For your information we are registered at Bed, Bath & Beyond, Target and Bloomingdales.

We don't know our address yet, but we will be living near Logan's parents. Their address is 3857 E 390 N, Rigby Idaho 83442

We are so excited for the wedding and hope to see all of you on our big day :) Thank you!

Happy Christmas Harry!

Hopefully people know where that title is from :)

Grandpa gave us our Christmas money before we left from Thanksgiving and we were so grateful! On Wednesday we were finishing registering, and I wanted SO badly to register for a new camera. Logan had been borrowing his Dad's and mine just struggles all together so i never take it anywhere. So while staring longingly at this camera that I wanted I had a genius idea! Christmas present!

so we went to best buy and bought this beauty! :)

 

I think this is the one, but it doesn't say anything about the HD video it takes in the description. Isn't that awesome? 

So that night Logan had a basketball and I put our new camera to good use! 

The first picture on the new camera! Thank you Grandma and Grandpa!!! 

My studly man :) 

He might be mad I posted this picture... but I think he's cute :) 

Here's Logan's really, um, mature and good looking team. Haha, at least they're good at basketball! I think they're undefeated and so far they've won both games in the championship tournament! Hopefully they keep it up and Logan gets another championship shirt so I can wear one of them :)  

Adria was mad she was still in her work clothes, but I think she's just supporting the team, that's their name, 

5 Buck Pizza :) 

Relaxing after our long day! SO HAPPY! :) 

Pictures!

As promised, a long time ago, I have pictures from right after the engagement! I'll also post some of our engagements, even though I'm sure everyone who is reading this is my family and has already seen them!

I'm SO grateful to get to marry this man, and SO anxious! Only 2 1/2 more months, and hopefully time speeds up! 

And so it begins!!

Let's start at the very beginning a very good place to start... (sung of course!) 

Logan and I met through a mutual friend Kelli Warren (at the time Barker!) Thanks to Kelli for being born so the best thing ever could walk into my life :) 

So while I was walking down the stairs to hurry to her birthday party he was walking up them. In my mind the way I remember it, time sort of slowed down for a second. I realize that's not possible ( and suuuuper cheesy) but I really did get a special feeling when he walked past me. Logan was still in missionary mode (he'd been home about a month and a week) so of course he said hi to me. I was in I'm late mode so I said hey but kept on walking as I thought to myself I need to find out who was getting taken out by this cute guy on Sunday! Then when I got to the bottom of the stairs I realized Kelli might not be at her party and I'd like to get there with her so I should go back up the stairs to see if she's there yet. I walked in and what do you know?? There Logan was playing guitar hero. Kelli introduced us and then we went to the party and Logan, being super smooth, sat next to me. I was obviously impressed with how nice he was but he had a date to go on that night so I didn't get too excited. I was glad I finally got to meet the Logan Kelli and Mark had been talking about. :) (and man am I glad now!!!!) 

Logan asked Kelli for my number and asked me out on our first date 6 days after we first met! 

We went to see the King himself :) Logan picked me up (I think he was late... haha) in his Dad's Mustang. It was the nicest car I'd ever been taken out in. I made sure he knew I knew what kind of car it was so that he would be impressed with me haha (and it totally worked!) I instantly felt comfortable and we didn't stop talking for a second until we got to the concert. It was a BLAST!! Logan kept nudging my elbow with his which made me all nervous. After he wanted to keep the date going, I think it was around ten and we had til one that night. He took me on a tour of Rigby (where he's from) which I think took about two minutes if that! After that we went to Dairy Queen and I instantly loved how he shared my love of ice cream.  While we were sitting there some guy comes up to him asking him if that's his car outside. Logan gets all embarrassed and I just shake my head, all proud of the fact that I'd been co-pilot in that car all night. Then it was time to get home so he walked me to my door and gave me a hug like a perfect gentleman. :) I made sure to let him know how much fun I had and that I'd LOVE to do it again and he said something about "next time we get together" so I felt pretty confident that there'd be a second date. 

We hung out two nights later and then went on our second date the next Monday. I was sure I was falling for this great guy that I instantly felt attracted to, and it turns out I was right! We kissed eight days after our first date just after watching Harry Potter. Another reason I knew I could love him, we shared a love for my dear friend Harry. We've been together every minute possible since then and now on to the best day of my life thus far! (Til Feb 19th!) Six fantastic months later...

Annnndd.... Drum Roll Please!!!!!! The Proposal: 

I drove from San Diego to Provo on Saturday September Fourth to meet Logan and his family to go to the BYU Provo. I wasnt expecting a thing because Logan was very sneaky. I wanted to hope that it would happen but I thought if I did that and then the ring wasn't done and he couldn't propose I would just be disappointed. When I got to provo I was just so excited to see him, I was just taking my sweet time talking to him. At the time I had no idea anything was up, after I felt bad for making him wait longer. I am sure he was anxious but he was very patient! We then walked over to a beautiful spot on campus.  We sat down on two benches in a corner with bushes around them so it seemed like it was just us which I loved. We hadn't seen each other in a few weeks and Logan is so great at letting me know why he loves me, so while he was being his usual sweetheart I was just so happy to be with him again. I then noticed his hands were shaking and he was reaching down to his pocket. In my head I was thinking... Oh my GOSSHHHHHHHHH is this really about to happen?! And then he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I said YES before he had even finished the eee of me :) I have been smiling ever since. Literally. And my cheeks really hurt. (We'll post pictures soon!) 

I was thinking about what this moment would be like. As everyone knows we already knew we were getting married so I didn't know how it would feel but I can honestly say I have never been so happy and at peace before in my life. The moment I said yes and he wrapped me in his arms I felt the Spirit so so so strongly and just knew that I had made probably the best decision of my life. Every time I look at my absolutely gorgeous ring I just get happier and happier that I am going to spend eternity with my best friend. 


So now come the plans and stress of school, work, planning the wedding and our future but it will all work out and be more than worth it!! February 19th 2011 will be the best day of my life!! We can't wait!! 

coming soon!!

Kelli's Bridal Shower

Adventures in the life of an Idahoan :) 

I can't wait to be in San Diego. I really hope I get to work though!! Countdown: 9 days until Eric's wedding!, 17 days until Tara, Spencer, Sydney and RYLEEEEEEE!, 19 days until HOME HOME HOMEEEEEE, one month and 5 days til I'm 21... what the?! maybe mom and dad will take me to the pub by moms work?? haha and one month and 6 days until SAC TOWN with the SEYMOURS/ kelli and marks wedding!! WOOT! It's gonna be a good summer :) 

I did it!!

This weekend was great! I feel so lucky to have been given so many blessings!

On Saturday I accomplished my goal of running my first half marathon. I'm glad Courtnie was doing it and she gave me a running schedule to follow. Getting back into shape, well not quite where I was in high school but good enough, has been so much fun and made me so happy! Although, I could have done without the feet issues but it hurts a lot less now than I thought it was going to and I am so grateful for that!! I'm grateful that I got to get help from the physical therapist to help my foot heal enough before the race. I'm sort of doubting that it was a stress fracture in the first place but we'll see what he says today.

I of course didn't take any pictures of the event or my amazing fan club but luckily my Mom always thinks of that stuff! :) I can't wait to see those! I literally had the best fan club out of all the people I saw. My Mom and Dad came up and brought Grandma and Grandpa with them, Logan and his Dad came and brought the van to drive everyone around, and Kelli and Adria woke up so early to be there to support me. I couldn't have asked for more. I did hope that my parents would pull up on friday and surprise me with my sisters being there but that was extremely wishful thinking :) And it was fun that I knew a few people who were running and volunteering so seeing familiar faces while running was very encouraging.

Friday my family got into town just in time for my Mom to come to Brother Riggins class. I'm glad she was able to do that. I am grateful for any chance to share the amazing town of Rexburg and amazing institution I am lucky enough to attend. Mom got to talk to Bro Riggins who she had been taught by when she was a seminary teacher. Then I had to go to physical therapy and Mom also came with me to that and it went well. Paul taped up my foot really well and it held up for the next day. Then it was time to CARBO LOAD!! so sweeeet :) Grandpa took our family, Logan and his family and Courtnie and Kenny to dinner at Craigos and I ate more pasta then I ever thought I could! It was great :) Then it was time for bed, but not without an encouraging peptalk from Logan!!

Saturday came very early. I woke up at 5:15 and made my bagel, ate a banana and downed a big glass of water and then sat back in bed. I got up again at 6:15 ish and got all ready and then Logan picked me up at 6:50 just like he said he would. The night before I kept having dreams that he didn't do what he told me he would, with the van and picking me up and stuff. It wasn't a very fun dream and gave me a lot of anxiety but in real life it was the exact opposite! I remember in high school how stressed I would get when my family wasn't there yet and I was about to start a race so I really appreciated how EVERYONE made such an effort to get there on time.

I warmed up stretched and got all ready for the race and started next to Courtnie, some of her friends and Justin and his friend but i didn't really plan on staying with anyone for long.  Courtnie and her friend stayed with me for about the first two miles I think and then Justin passed me around mile 4 1/2 or 5 I can't really remember.  When I got to mile 3 the astrovan was there full of everyone. It was great to see them and hear them cheer for me and see my dad there too! Then the next 6 miles I was on my own. I had to stop and wait for the porta-potty and this was definitely the most challenging part of the race.  It was rolling hills and a long time by myself but I had the opportunity to remain positive and not get discouraged. I was really grateful for the wind, it was coming from the north which is rare, and pushing against my back so that was awesome! And my feet were starting to get tired but not hurting like I thought they would.  Then I got to mile  and had some really bad cramps under my ribs and really wanted to see everyone and get my inhaler. I could see a bunch of cars but didn't see the van and was about to let myself get discouraged... and then I saw the best site ever!! The astrovan's doors opening and my mom and dad getting out. I then of course gave the inhaler symbol that I think my family is trained to look for and got a couple puffs :) that plus all the energy from everyone totally lifted my spirits and I knew I could make it the next 4 miles! Then the next mile and a half they'd drive past and then wait for me to come and we kept up that pattern until Adria and Kelli ran with me for a little. It was great! The next three miles were pretty much all down hill which was nice and I felt great! I was tired but knew I was gonna make my goal! The last mile I was sure I was gonna have to stop for a sec and throw up and I just hoped that I wouldn't do it in front of all the people at the finish, but that didn't even happen! I was so close and then I saw the sign that kelli and Adria had made "Jana, the best dam runner." I broke through it and crossed through the finish line. It was an amazing feeling. Coach Doc told me a good time would be two hours and I did it in 1:58:42. and my foot hasn't bothered me since!

The rest of the weekend I was pretty much exhausted but it was SO much fun to have my family visit! Next race is??? I don't know yet but I need something to train for! A big GIGANIC thank you to my family and friends for all the support and love!

I miss blogging!

I haven't even blogged in 2010! Yikes! I'm sorry!

Well I don't have time to say the things that are happening right now but plan on writing it all soon because this is the stuff that needs to be recorded!!!

Except ye become as little children...

Jesus said, “Except ye . . . become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.”
Hadley Peay is now seven years old. Hadley was born with a very serious hearing impairment requiring extensive surgery to bring even limited hearing. Her parents followed with tireless training to help her learn to speak. Hadley and her family have cheerfully adapted to the challenge of her deafness.
Once, when Hadley was four, she was standing in the checkout line at the grocery store with her mother. She looked behind her and saw a little boy sitting in a wheelchair. She noticed that the boy did not have legs.
Although Hadley had learned to speak, she had difficulty controlling the volume of her voice. In her louder voice, she asked her mother why the little boy did not have legs.
Her mother quietly and simply explained to Hadley that “Heavenly Father makes all of His children different.” “OK,” Hadley replied.
Then, unexpectedly, Hadley turned to the little boy and said, “Did you know that when Heavenly Father made me, my ears did not work? That makes me special. He made you with no legs, and that makes you special. When Jesus comes, I will be able to hear and you will get your legs. Jesus will make everything all right.”
“Except ye . . . become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.”

Hadley knew enough.


I'm excited to see my favorite little children and grateful that I know enough.

The Tender Mercies of the Lord

I'm sitting in the library reading this talk for my class crying like a little baby.  It's a great talk and I think everyone should read and study it again and again. This is exactly what I needed today. I was grumpy and stressed but a little reminder that God knows who I am turned my day around.

"We should not underestimate or overlook the power of the Lord's tender mercies. The simpleness, the sweetness, and the constancy of the tender mercies of the Lord will do much to fortify and protect us in the troubled times in which we do now and will yet live. When words cannot provide the solace we need or express the joy we feel, when it is simply futile to attempt to explain that which is unexplainable, when logic and reason cannot yield adequate understanding about the injustices and inequities of life, when mortal experience and evaluation are insufficient to produce a desired outcome, and when it seems that perhaps we are so totally alone, truly we are blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord and made mighty even unto the power of deliverance (see 1 Nephi 1:20)."

Oh no oh no

I have been a slacker. But I am changing my ways. Really I've just been busy... good excuse?

So thanksgiving break was perfect of course. And surprisingly even though I have a deathly cold the break gave me the extra energy to pull through and finish which usually doesn't ever happen! Usually I go home for thanksgiving and wish I was there for the rest of the semester.  But 3 weeks left... I can do this!

Some cool things/impressions/things I learned the past few weeks:

• Don't settle for anything that seems "good enough." Make it be great or not at all. Learned that in Stake Conference. 
• I'll go where You want me to go- good song. pretty much how I feel.
• In my TOLP class we talked about how the quorum of the twelve are chosen because they have strong minds and strong wills and they speak their minds.  I once got told I was strong willed ( and I don't think the person meant it nicely) but now I feel much better about it because the apostles are too. so hah!
• apparently when you get parking tickets you're supposed to send in the ticket with the check... who knew?
• A lot of people have been quoting a favorite quote of mine by Sister Hinckley lately, ""I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."     Cool stuff huh? I think that sums up the women in my family. I don't think I'll ever measure up.
• OO This one is goooood!  Another good quote+ some impressions from stake conference. The adversary HATES temples. He trys to beat them down by encouraging us to dress immodestly and feel bad about our physical temples.  Satan wants you to hate your body because he's jealous.  He tells us we're not anything enough (skinny enough, pretty enough, smart enough etc) but that is a big fat DEVILISH lie.  True beauty is letting others see your divine nature. 
• I've gotten a lot better at "rolling with the punches" still room for improvement but I am pretty proud of myself! 

That's it for now! I have a good story I need to write but I'm too tired and congested so maybe another day! Goodnight! Yes it's 10:20 and probably the earliest I've ever gone to bed in college :) 

To my favorite Veteran:

These past two days I have thought a lot about you.  Before I say what I am going to say I would like it if no one got too mushy over this because I plan on expressing my very deepest feelings about my daddy, but just so 30 years down the road my kids know how good I had it.

I am the luckiest girl in the world.  Even luckier than my two sisters. In a talk written by Elder L. Tom Perry titled Fatherhood, an eternal calling, Elder Perry warns us about Satan's attack on the family.  He says things about what a father needs to be successful in our fight against Satan.  Here's the things he says that my dad has already excelled in: "head of the family"... you don't mess with dad! "Must lead in family worship"... I don't think there's anything in the gospel that I couldn't ask my dad about and he wouldn't be able to teach me.  Plus he's the least judgmental person I know, and living with three daughters thats a very important trait to have, so anything anyone needs advice on or just to talk to someone about he's there.  "The father is a teacher and temporal provider"... He's a genius, hard worker, and gives all he can to still provide for our family even though the circumstances make it very hard.  I admire the strong will he has to get up to go to work every day.  "Gives fathers blessings" needless to say that has been a huge blessing for all members of my family.  "In this church the man neither walks ahead of his wife not behind his wife but at her side." Not only are my parents a good team but my dad is a great support to my mom.  Overall I think its safe to say that Satan has lost in his battle against my dad.  Not that life has been easy, because we all know it hasn't, but my dad has stuck it out better than anyone could have asked him to.  Sure it'd be easy to give up and let the pain take over, but not my dad. He's a trooper.  And I even have concrete details to support my conclusion.  :)

Which brings me to the next thing I would like to say.  My dad had a stroke when I was 13 and I am grateful for it.  I'm sure my dad is shocked that I just said that but I will explain myself.  That life changing experience strengthens my testimony of the atonement almost every single day.  Sure it would have been nice to have him be completely healthy like he was before, but except for his own sake, I wouldn't change anything. On Saturday night I was at walmart and I needed to make sure I had all the ingredients for what I was making on sunday.  Mom, Tara or Erin wouldn't answer their phones but daddy did.  I don't think that any Father would know where to find a specific recipe, but Dad looked for me.  He looked for a while and couldn't find it but I was more confident that I had everything I needed. He told me how sorry he was and that he had failed me as a father. That makes me so upset!! I can't ever find the words to convince him otherwise so I hope this will do the trick. On Tuesday in devotional Sister Clayton bore her testimony about our Heavenly Father's perfect love.  I had been upset because I hate hearing my dad say that he thinks he's failed me because that couldn't be farther from the truth, and the spirit of course taught me an extremely valuable lesson.  I learned that upstairs I have a perfect Father who loves me.  He knows me better than I do.  He is there for me no matter what it is that I need.  Well here on earth I have a father who is almost as good, but if he was I'd feel pretty bad about myself.  I already feel like I'll never measure up to my parents, imagine if they were perfect all the time! No, what I need is an imperfect father to teach me.  I luckily have a father who has made mistakes that can teach me through those, a father who will learn lessons along with me. A father who has faults that I can learn from.  A father who has challenges that strengthen my testimony and that give me the opportunity to be strong for him.  I am so unbelievably blessed.

My dad teaches me life lessons that keep me sane, help me prepare for the future, give me courage to be myself and push me to be the best that I can be.  What else could I ask for? So next time my dad says that he feels like he's failed me I'm going to refer him to this page right here and then ask him to retract that statement.  I don't have the emotional maturity to tell him this every time (or the breath man this is long) because I get too emotional in wanting him to know how much I love him.  I have been blessed immensely from my Father in Heaven and my father here on earth.  I wouldn't have asked for anything different and I am grateful for the opportunity I have been given to grow from my circumstances and I hope that I make all of my parents proud.   I am grateful for my father's service in the marines and the sense of pride it has given me of our country.  I am grateful for the eternal perspective that the gospel gives me and the immense joy I feel everyday! Life IS good!

Monday Monday Monday

Well today was kind of a stressful day. I'm not sure but I wasn't as happy as I should have been. I had to register for classes and that always brings on a bit of stress in my life.  It makes me feel like wait what if I don't register for something that I should have... what am I doing with my life??... what classes do I take (obviously) to best get me where I want to go... AHHHH?  See what I'm saying? Stressful! So I woke up and did that which probably was the reason for my bad mood. But then my mommy called. (my computer is doing a lot of really annoying things like undoing what I say and moving the letters not where they should be. grr) So I talked to my mom about what was best and what she thought. It was so comforting and really nice that we were on the same page and she was supporting the decisions I am making because they are the right ones I think.  So that made my day a little bit better. Then we had FHE at Brother Eatons house.  The drive is about 40 minutes but it is a lot of fun and totally worth it! We had a really good lesson on faith and how faith is a principle of action and power. It inspired me to have more faith in this plan I'm doing and wait for the power to come from it.  So I'm grateful for my real family and my ward family :)

Then we got home and my roommates and I had a dance party. It was a lot of fun. I'm grateful for times to unwind and destress after a long day. now its time for bed! Goodnight!

What a Good Weekend!

Well this weekend was a really great one! On Friday night Adria and I went to see a concert put on by the top orchestra, Collegiate, women and mens choirs. It was titled God's Everlasting Love and the text was written by Elder Bednar! He was actually there! We tried to follow him to say hello but we didn't get a chance there were so many people around. Needless to say it was absolutely beautiful.  It was so great to hear the spirit so strongly through the beautiful music.  After that we went out to dessert with Nick (who broke the lamp! haha) and went and watched a movie with his roommates. It was a very fun friday night.

Then on Saturday a group of us went on an adventure to the ice caves! It was freezing but a lot of fun! I love doing Idaho things :)

Then today church was great as usual. In our relief society we've been having a problem with the girls not showing up on time or even coming. Not me of course! So the bishop came to talk to us about the importance of the sabbath day. He said a few things that I really liked. He said to wake up on Sunday mornings as excited for the sabbath as you are on Christmas morning.  I definitely have learned to prepare for sundays on saturday nights by getting enough sleep and I can tell how much I learn more by making that extra effort. I felt confident that I am excited for church each sunday as I am for Christmas which made me feel really good.  Of course he had to talk about dating, and since I haven't been doing much of that this semester I really liked when he said "if he's not around focus on you.  Improve you.  Work on you.  Be the best YOU you can be."  That's what I've been telling myself so I don't get sad about not dating as much as I want to and it was really nice to have those feelings confirmed by someone that I admire and look up to so much.

In the end it was a great weekend. Full of great friends.  Two weeks I'll be in CA! yay! I can't wait to see my family!

Tired Day

Today was a tired day so I'm grateful to have a bed to sleep in. I don't know if I'm getting a cold or if I've just swallowed too much pool water lately but i have this obnoxious cough and itchy/sore throat. So I tried to rest plenty today since my body told me I needed it and so my bed made me very happy.

I really love BYU-Idaho. I love it more every single day. I love the teachers the students the activities provided the campus, you name it I love it! I'm grateful for the blessing it is to be here. I'm too tired to name the many many reasons why I'm especially grateful for it today, but just know I am.

Today I realized it was November 4th...

Excuse me how did that happen? I fly to Sacramento in almost exactly two weeks! It hasn't really hit me yet but I'm super excited!

So today I'm grateful for the temple. I got to go do baptisms for the dead today and it was again a great experience. Right before we went in to do confirmations the brother who was walking us into the room turned to me and said, "isn't it great that we get to have a temple so close where we can go so often?" I think he read my mind or something! Then there was the same old guy who asks my name and when I say Sister Drake he says oh yeah you're here all the time. I stinkin love that guy. He makes me feel so good for going as often as I do. I took my talks from President Uchtdorf to study while I was waiting. You should read We are Doing So Great a Work we Cannot come Down or something like that. Priesthood Session April 2009. REALLY good talk about one of my favorite scripture stories Nehemiah.

I am also really grateful for Idaho and the humble and kind people that live  here.  I know weird that I am grateful to live in a place which will soon be covered in snow, but it has its perks :) Like old guys working in the temple with big walking sticks. Dad would have been SO jealous of it. He walked in that confirmation room and said, "Oh, I can get so many toes in here!" and pretended to get our toes with his walking stick.  I instantly felt close to Heavenly Father through his playful love.  Don't be surprised if you hear of Rexburg getting sucked into the sky one of these days.  With men like that and a population where 95% of the people living there are worthy to enter the temple it's bound to happen one of these days! Point is I love this place.

Update on roomies: we all cleaned the kitchen together... things seem to be getting better! Woo!